Keeping Secrets
by therpist
Summary: Wendyl's come to terms with his gender identity and he's ready to let it show. But with his and Stan's relationship already on the rocks, how will his sudden transition go over? Stendyl, emetophobia warning


Wendyl took a deep breath, staring at his own reflection. His hair was cut short, his clothes a different style altogether. Somehow just these little changes made a world of difference. Maybe he was a bit masculine-looking to begin with but it wasn't all that obvious until now.

It took him a while to really come to terms with his gender, but looking at himself now, he's never been more comfortable in his body. He patted his chest, binder firmly in place. Thank God his parents were supportive when he came out to them. Was it weird that his parents were the only ones who knew? Maybe. Well that was going to change. He was going to school as Wendyl for the second time, but this time was for real. Thinking of it was stressing him out, but he knew he'd be okay. Cartman would probably say something shitty, but that's it.

Stress, Christ knows Wendyl had enough of that. He even wondered at times if he was just confused about his gender identity, and maybe stress was causing it. Keeping up his grades, as well as extracurricular activities, and his relationship issues with Stan- God, what would Stan think? Wendyl grimaced a bit. He guessed he'd find out today.

Wendyl walked down the halls with a fake sense of confidence. The stares and confused murmurs were making him self-conscious and unsure, but looking vulnerable would probably just open him up to teasing. He saw Stan exchanging his books in his locker and took a slow, deep breath before approaching. "Hey, Stan."

Stan barely glanced up and continued to put his textbooks in his backpack. "Hey, Wend-" He paused and slowly looked back to Wendyl, his eyes wide. "... Wendy?"

"Wendyl. It's... Wendyl, Stan." If he weren't ready to have a heart attack, Wendyl would laugh at Stan's mouth being agape like that.

"... Dude. Are you..." Stan set down his bag and straightened up, facing him. "Are you a... Dude? I mean. Like... Fuck, that's probably offensive to ask, but just..."

Wendyl managed to laugh a little. "Yeah, I'm a dude." There was a tense silence as Stan looked him over, his face pale. "... Look, Stan, I understand if this is too much. If you want to break up with me, I get it. I'm not expecting you to change your sexuality for-" Wendyl's sentence was interrupted by Stan losing his breakfast on the ground, making Wendyl instinctively step back. "Ew! Stan!"

"I-I- Sorry, I just-" Wendyl looked furious and punched Stan in the jaw.

"Dammit, Stan! I know it's a shock, but I thought you were better than that! Sorry that me being trans makes you puke your guts up, you asshole!" He promptly turned around and left, leaving Stan alone to rub his injured jaw.

"Wait! I- Aw fuck." Stan groaned and hung his head, shuffling to the bathroom to clean up.

Wendyl had a hard time listening and participating in class. The teachers agreed to his preferred name and most agreed to his preferred pronouns, but the incident with Stan was bothering the hell out of him. He figured Stan would be okay wipth it, but maybe he was wrong. Maybe Stan was a bit of a bigot and Wendyl never realized because the subject never came up. Hell, now that he thought about it, when Wendyl would bring it up, Stan seemed uncomfortable and would not talk the second the word "transgender" came up. That must've been it then. Stan was really transphobic! Wendyl got kind of pissed off thinking of the notion. He really thought Stan wasn't that kind of person. Maybe at lunch he'd try to talk him through it, hopefully make him more accepting.

Stan sighed for the hundredth time that day, poking at his serving of corn. What happened earlier was bothering him too, just as much as it bothered Wendyl. He didn't mean to throw up. It wasn't because he was transphobic, it was- "Hey Stan?" Stan threw his hand over his mouth and luckily made it to the trash can before losing what little he ate of his lunch so far. Wendyl frowned deeply and clenched his fists, resisting the urge to punch Stan again. He already gave him a pretty nasty bruise. Still, he couldn't deal with this. If Stan was going to be this dramatic about it, then forget it.

Stan wiped his mouth and turned to apologize, but saw Wendyl storming out of the lunchroom. "Oh Jesus..." He sighed and hurried after him, following him to the boy's bathroom.

"Stan, what are you doing? Leave me alone!" He fought the urge to throw up again and swallowed thickly.

"Wendyl, it's not what you're thinking. Please, hear me out!" Wendyl pressed his lips together. If Stan was willing to use his preferred name, maybe there was hope... Stan inhaled to talk, but accidentally made eye contact with Wendyl and ended up puking into the sink.

"God /dammit/, Stan!"

"Wait! Wait, Wendyl, I'm sorry, I'm really really sorry!" Stan wiped his mouth and gave Wendyl a desperate look. "I'm okay with you being.. well, you! I'm more than okay with it dude, I'll support you to the end and punch out anyone who looks at you funny!"

"Really. Then why do you keep throwing up every time I say something to you?" Stan remained quiet, his pale face quickly changing to a light pink.

"I-I... Uh, well..." Wendyl narrowed his eyes and looked Stan over. Wait, now that he said it out loud, this behavior seemed familiar...

"Wait a fucking second. Stan, are you doing that thing you did when you first got a crush on me?" The other boy stammered a little and glanced away, looking like he might be ill again. Wendyl couldn't help but crack a grin, laughing a little. "That's so weird, Stan! We're already dating. I thought you were over puking over me."

A nervous laugh escaped Stan's lips and he stared at the floor. "Yeah, haha, um... Well, I liked our relationship and all, you're... amazing, I just... Well... I'm gay, okay?" Wendyl blinked and looked surprised while Stan looked guilty and nervous. "Sorry I didn't tell you, I just... I really like you! But I didn't really feel... Ugh, I don't know... Right? Like, I /liked/ you but not like I used to but- Now you're a dude and suddenly all those feelings came rushing back to me and- Fuck, I'm making this worse aren't I?"

"No." Wendyl smiled a little and kissed Stan's forehead. "I guess we were both keeping secrets, huh? I should've told you instead of just dropping it on you like that." Stan grinned and lightly punched Wendyl's arm.

"Same to you, dude. Heh..." There were a few moments of awkward silence before Wendyl held Stan's hand in his own.

"So... I'm still your boyfriend. Wanna watch a stupid horror film and laugh at it while we eat ice cream?" Stan laughed and nodded, squeezing Wendyl's hand.

"I'd love to, Wendyl. I'm glad you're my boyfriend."


End file.
